I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

SET YOUR FAZERS ON STUNNING


RED ALERT ....RED ALERT....
PBS...DECEMBER 10TH..GUESS WHO IS COMING TO TOWN? TOM JONES...YES, MR. HIPS HISOWN SELF..
I LOVE TOM JONES...WHEN I WAS A YOUNG SWINGING CHICK..I HAD THE MAJOR HOTS FOR HIM..NOW THAT IM AN OLD BROAD I DONT HAVE THE 'HOTS' ANYMORE..BUT HE STILL WARMS THE COCKELS OF MY HEART...WHAT EVER THE FUCK COCKELS ARE...SO I WILL BE GLUED TO MY OLD RCA FOR OLE TOMMY BOY TO COME SWIVELING INTO MY LIVING ROOM SINGING 'WHAT'S NEW PUSSY CAT'...BY THE WAY, SPEAKING OF MUSIC AND ALL...IF ANYONE CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ME A COPY OF HARLEM NOCTURNE BY THE VISCOUNTS I WOULD BE DEEPLY GRATEFUL...CANT FING IT ANY WHERE..BEST INSTUMENTAL EVER...GREAT SAX....
CAUGHT THE TAIL END OF A SPECIAL TRIBUTE TO JOHNNY CASH LAST NIGHT ON PBS...WAS HOSTED BY JON VOIGHT...WHO WAS STILL WEARING THAT OLD RATTY TUX WITH THE SCUZZY WHITE SCARF THAT HE HAS WORN TO EVERY HOLLYWOOD EVENT SINCE HE FIRST WORE IT TO THE OSCAR'S WHEN HE WON ONE FOR MIDNIGHT COWBOY....JUDAS PRIEST JON.POP FOR A NEW TUX AND GET RID OF THAT FUCKING SCARF..YOU LOOK LIKE A HOMO MAFIA DON..ANY HOW THERE WAS SOME GREAT SONGS ON THE SPECIAL LAST NIGHT..KRIS KRISTOFFERSON SANG THE BALLAD OF IRA HAYES.. WILLI, LYLE, JUNE, ROSEANNE, EMMY LOU, SHERLY, ETC..WAS PRETTY SPECIAL...SPECIALL..

DID ANYONE SEE ON TV WHERE THE GUY RAN OUT ON THE FIELD AT THE EAGLES STADIUM AND SCATTERED HIS MOTHER'S ASHES ALL OVER THE PLACE..SEEMS SHE WAS A BIG EAGLE FAN AND HE WANTED HER ASHES TO GO WITH THE EAGLES....HEY, I LOVE THE COWBOYS JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LOVED HER EAGLES..BUT IF YOUR GOING TO SCATTER MY ASHES ON THE STADIUM WHERE MY TEAM PLAYED..AT LEAST DO IT DURING A WINNING SEASON..NOT WHEN THEY ARE SUCKING THE AIR OUT OF THE PLACE...I STILL PREFER TO HAVE MY ASHES SCATTERED OVER A FIELD OF BLUEBONNETS...FROM A KFC BUCKET...

4 comments:

Jack said...

I saw part of a Tom Jones show several years ago -- actually saw him sing "What's New Pussycat?"!

I don't remember seeing any panties fly on stage, but perhaps I just left early (I worked at the venue where he played; I didn't just leave midway through his show!).

Too funny about the mom's ashes bit, too. Gotta wonder if dear old mom really wanted to be stuck to the cleats of those players, too. Hmmm...

apositivepessimist said...

just hope your ash scatterer forgets about it "bein finger licking good" kfc.

Cassandra said...

That would be the Cornel's secret recipe, now wouldn't it??

Anonymous said...

http://www.unfinishednovellas.com/mp3/Viscounts-Harlem_Nocturne.mp3