I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I'M OK, AND YOU'RE OK, IF THE CHECK'S OK.

I am such a simple soul...It takes so little to make me happy..thank the Goddess as there isn't much for me to be happy about. Today is the day the books come from the Waco library..if there is a book I want and not a big enough deal for Henrietta to buy it for the library, we can get Waco to send them. Today I hit pay dirt..
1)Dies The Fire by S.M. Stirling..finding out that I am reading the seris out of order...oh well, my life is out of order so I can handle it...this is the sci/fi/fantasy book part 2 I think...So far I am reading them backwards...kind of like Star Wars.
2) Shampoo Planet by Douglas Coupland
3)Life After God by same ^
4)Microserfs by same^
5)Polaroids from the Dead same^
6)Girlfriend In a Coma by the same^
7)Miss Wyoming by the same^
I will find someone I like and then read everything he wrote..which is how I found and fell in love with James Lee Burke.At the West Library I found The Politically Correct Guide to American History..by Edward P. Moser....which is pretty funny so far....
Thom, the son is going through his second childhood...he just bought a Harley Davidson motorcycle...He needs this toy like he needs a tennage girlfriend...I am not the only one that thinks that..Jenny his 19 year old daughter asked him why he didn't find a young girl to fool around with, as it would have been a lot cheaper and safer...I may have mentioned this before as I am getting worse and worse about remembering shit..
For reasons left unspoken( I can't just open up here like some of you can)I have been feeling a little low....I am sure you all are thinking "how can that be...the queen of snappy and funny can't be down....yes, boys and girls...I can..I have been a lot of times..but just suck it up and go on with my day...My way of dealing with feeling depressed is too push it aside and make someone laugh...it's not a cure, but it work's for me...But as you know...some of the stuff I say that I think is funny is not necessarily funny to my family...Thom is still hard pressed to find the humor in refering to his wife as imacuntthedaughterinlaw...and after all this time Maryjo decided that she doesn't like me making jokes about shooting her father..after 31 years...I have done what ever it takes to keep me from falling into that deep pit of pain...I have guilt, no matter that I was saving mine, hers and my sons lives at the time...I did not shoot a nice guy...I shot a man who was going to kill us all....I still have nightmares...but what has kept me from going insane was my twisted sick sense of humor..I can find a way to make fun of anything...and I have and I do.. and I will continue to do so....telling people my husband died of lead poison is one way...saying Im a self-made widow is another...Maryjo has her way of dealing with her life..I have mine...We both chose booze for a long time...that worked.but not for long, for the day to day get up and continue living, being crazy has kept me from going insane..and laughing about it works for me....
So out of three kids ages 42, 40, 33 ....none of them are very happy with me...Mojo is not speaking to me...David and I haven't spoke in almost 5 years nor have I spoke or seen his daughters....that is another long messy story...one of which I am actually not the bad guy...I will take blame for Thom and Mojo being mad, pissed, hurt what ever...but David..well, that one is on his head..Thom last Christmas had me over but I think now it was just to make the girls happy...he doesn't call and was in West for Doc's funeral and didn't call or come by...so I present my ass to be kissed..
the reason I have even brought this up is my friend Shady Lane sort of got caught up in the me and MOJO war and being a loyal yankee friend, she jumped right into Maryjo with both cowgirl boots..upsetting MOJO so much she threatened to fly to Austin and kick her skinny yankee ass...which gave us alot to laugh about (shady and me)I can't tell you how good it felt to have her in my corner...reassuring me I was not a bad mother(she has been around since MO was 3),
(she refers to them as the Denney schmucks)that my kids need to take responsiblity for their own actions and quit blaming me for everything that ever happend to them...I get blamed for the bad stuff but no one says hey Mom, thanks for helping me with my home work, stickng up for me when the bully terrorized me and you kicked his dad's ass..thanks for teaching me to play ball, shoot pool, make me read books when you could have stuck us in front of the tv..nope nary a word about that..Oh,my dears...that almost sounds like I am feeling sorry for myself and we can't have that...fuck the little bastids..and feed them porriage....
Ok, enough...will end this on a funny note..saw an article in the DAM NEWS and it was about a litte setto between the girlfriends of NASCAR divers Greg Biffle and Kurt Busch...Biffle's girlfriend got a 'reprimand from NASCAR officials after she went up in the stand and had a heated exchange with Kurt's girl...This was after the the two drivers wrecked at Texas Motor Speedway.Nicole Lunders marched right down pit road and climbed half-way up Busch's box(insert joke here) and had a few heated words with Eva Bryan.. Gotta love them red neck women....screw that stand by your man shit..stand up for him and kick a little ass when you can....
ahhh, life is good....

11 comments:

lostinthetriangle said...

I do not know what happened to me but I just do not enjoy reading a real book anymore. I tend to do a lot of reading on line, and also ebooks. I think it might have something to do with my age and my refusal to get bifocals...............DAMM!!! I am so jealous of people with perfect vision

Tina said...

Omg I just saw the image(s) in your main pic in the title area....awesome :)

Tina said...

what i meant was that it appeared to me and i hadnt seen it before, funny how pics can do that (no, im not trippin) hahaha

Unknown said...

Hello there, I found you through Blog Ho's comments.

I know what you mean about kids, mine makes me nuts. I've been crusing around your site, and if you don't mind, I'm gonna put you on my blogroll

Nit Wit said...

I would really miss my Jackiejokes if they went away.
Like Babs says, your blog is for you first.
Kids like to blame parents for everything in thier lives that goes wrong, but if something good happens they did it all by themselves. That's what I do.
Fuck me till I grow up!
Ooops copyright infringement.
Sorry. :)

Nancy said...

In the words of W.C. Fields

"Kids, I like kids, could eat a dozen of em."

Chin up
Tits out!

I see this at the hospital all the time. Mom is old and sick and dying and the kids haven't talked to her in 10 years and they are at bed side begging for forgivness.

Mom always forgives them, and then she gets better and leaves the hospital.

BriteYellowGun said...

I don't know JS, I'd say you did a very good job of opening up to all of us on here just now. But if you ever feel like you want to say more, you have my email address and I'm always here to listen/read. Remember that. Now what's up with MOJO? I thought you two talked all the time? Is this something recent? Feel better or just wallow in it. It will pass and we'll still be here.

Lauren said...

I understand all too well about the issues with children. I haven't seen or talked to my boys in years. That door has always been open, they just choose not to walk through it. We cannot undo our past.

That little cat fight between Biffle's and Busch's girlfriends was a funny sight. All those big burly Pit Crew members just backed away. It's been reshown here on various sports shows all week.

Hang in there Sweetie. . . It's all good.

HUGGSS!!

Lisa said...

i'm sorry that you've been feeling depressed. but i'm glad you shared it. i hope it passes soon. you'll be in my thoughts.

Mr. Shife said...

Stuff like that makes me almost want to watch NASCAR. And I am glad you have such a good attitude about things, it is an inspiration.

Cassandra said...

I missed this post somehow, but we talk enough through email that I think we've caught up on each other's happenings.
Shame your kids don't want to talk to you and my mother wants nothing to do with me. Family... eh?