I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

..............PUSSIES IN THE WIND..............

I had a strange thought the other day...or maybe not..you decide...
I was watching the news and they were going on about Britney Spears and the no underwear wearing beaver shot....and I'm thinking..it's colder than Alaska outside..and what if it got that cold in Hollyweird?....her vagina would freeze over and when she tried to pee..it would back up and come out her ears...I don't know why I have thoughts like that..but I do...I also thought with all the bare beavers being flashed all over Hollyweird that you would think that some interprising bartender would come up with a bunch of new drinks...like ' Pink Lips'...'Beaver Shot'...'Pussy on the Rocks',
'Vagina Mystery Tour'...'Over Easy'...'Sloppy Seconds'...you get the idea...make up your own ..
I had my granddaughter Jamie and her boyfriend Harrison (who is 6' 5" and weighs 180lbs) came over for dinner..I made baked porkchops with gravy, ginger baby carrots,
deviled eggs, saugsage, baked potatoes with sour cream, bacon bits and cheese..I had everything but the baked potato...damn...my blood glucose after dinner was 127..yeah..
Jamie loves my new apt..and said she was glad I moved out of the house as they always were afraid as old as it was it was going to catch fire and burn down with me in it..hmm.. who knew..She also fell in love with Annie..she said she is prettier than her kitty...which she has named Twat...yup..that's my grandkid alright..When Harrison found out that Jenny's boyfriend flaked out on me and didn't come help me move he was so upset..said he was off that Sunday and would have been glad to help me move..and gave me his cell number in case I needed anything to call him..he's so sweet..and treats Jamie like she is a princess...he just got a new job at M&M Mars plant..they make good money and have great benefits..but he wants to go back to school and at M&M they don't have part time jobs...they work 40-50 hours and no time to go to school..so He said he would work for a year or so, save up the money and then go back to school and get a part time job..he wants to do good and take care of Jamie ...bless his heart...She is looking for a job with a vet while she goes to school to become a vet...she loves animals and still pissed that they gave the zoo job to someone else..she was so excited about that job and then someone that worked at the zoo, with a nephew or some kinfolk stepped in and snagged the job away from her..
Her mother and step-dad have bought a membership at Gold's Gym in Waco and she is going to go swim and exercise every day..said she is getting fat...yeah right..she has the baby fat cheeks and little puchie belly..that's all...she's just 17...
I got a phone call last night at 10pm(cold and raining like crazy outside) and it was the ups driver....said he couldn't find the apt as they didn't have the number down(uh huh) and wanted to get it but since it was so late they couldn't deliver it till Monday..I told him..'hey it's ok...I wouldn't want to get out in this weather and drive 40 miles round tip for my package either.'..I din't know they didn't deliver on Saturday..rats...oh well, at least I know it will be here Monday...
Henrietta had to go to a funeral this morning so I said I would work for her and so far there has only been one person and its been almost 2 hours...oops, here comes another one..
We are supposed to be getting freezing rain this week, and highs in the 30's....lows in the 20's...finally...winter is here..I saw in the West Paper that we had 27 inches of rain...and that we got more rain in the last 2 months of the year than we did with the other 10 months combined...Texas....gotta love it...and my friend Mary in Denver is going to be snowed in again..first snow storm they had there, she was snowed in for 12 days...she gets out ..goes to the store...gets a bunch of books, movies and hunkers down... pissed that she can't get out and go gambing at the Indian casinos...
I have almost got the apt looking normal...still have boxes of books everywhere, but took 3 boxes of books to the library and got my cook books and health books put in a book case...but then found another box of cook books...damn...
gotta go....more brave souls are coming in.....see ya Monday...
fuckme till I get snowed in..

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll have a frozen pink monster please!

yellowdoggranny said...

tex: i would never have thought you were one of those frozen drink kinda guys..i would have thought you were more the shot of pussy with a water back type..

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Anonymous said...

around here if ya go commando yer able to get chapped lips ;)

apositivepessimist said...

ouuu Monday...new apartment, new computer...ahhhh.

a bald beaver...straight shot, no ice or additives. okay that was my contribution.

Anonymous said...

If it was a frozen drink wouldn't it be called a Twat Cicle?
I want a Peeking Pussy myself.
I think the whole thing is a bunch of has beens trying to keep their names in the paper. They just don't have the guts to do the sex video thing on the internet.

UPS sucks. They used to be good before the strike they had a few years ago.
They used to have no problem delivering on Saturday. Hell, it used to be cheap to get one day delivery.

The new place sounds great. Just wait until some of them old ladies really get to know you. It will sure make the place a lot more interesting for them.

You really took books to the library? No way I could never give up my babies.
That Hominids is good so far, I'm almost halfway through.

If your blood sugar was that low you could have had a Potato I bet. Now I gotta go get something to eat.

JBlue said...

I always thought the purpose of undies wasn't so much to protect the privates from view as to protect them from everything else: weather, direct contact with germs, and whatever other hazards may lurk out there for exposed privates....

JBlue said...

You grandkid sounds great.

Anonymous said...

Shoot, I'm about ready for some cold weather. Yes, 70 degrees in January is nice and all, but it just ain't right. If it's this warm now, it's going to be hotter than blue blazes come July.

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Anonymous said...

WTF is the above? I was going to leave a beaver suggestion, but it has flitted out of my mind after that, which i didn't really read.

yellowdoggranny said...

ol lady: same here..you would have icecycles hanging off your lips..
apos: yes, i am am home right now typing this..yeah....bald beaver..sounds like an indian name...
nitwit: our ups usually is ok, as it's the same guy for 12 years and he knows everyone and knows if they're not home they are probably at their sisters, or the library,etc..but he is still on vacation..and what pissed me off, is the apt number was right there..asshole..I loved hominoids..wait til lyou read the second and third one of the series..one of my favorites..liked the concept...and wish i was a neanderthal...ha
i wish i could get my blood sugar to settle down..it is still all over the place..damn..was 102 after lunch and then 180 after dinner..had stew and 2 cookies..ha..i actually have more books to give her too...nothing earth shattering or i would have kept them..
jblue: when i was wild and wolly, i used to not wear underwear when i wore my blue jeans..had what i called my period panties that i wore for a week during that time of the month...but now..i wear them all the time...like covering my privates..and the ole general too..
jblue: yeah, jenny is really funny...
nancy: ooooooohhhhhh....kay...
josh:..it's plenty cold enough for me here..icecicles every where..nearly fell on my ass this am...electric when out but only for about an hour...glad..as it is all electric..and was getting a little nippy..
jan: i don't know what the deal is with the anony's..going to use the varifacation thing for a week or so and get rid of them...nutso's..

yellowdoggranny said...

ol lady: same here..you would have icecycles hanging off your lips..
apos: yes, i am am home right now typing this..yeah....bald beaver..sounds like an indian name...
nitwit: our ups usually is ok, as it's the same guy for 12 years and he knows everyone and knows if they're not home they are probably at their sisters, or the library,etc..but he is still on vacation..and what pissed me off, is the apt number was right there..asshole..I loved hominoids..wait til lyou read the second and third one of the series..one of my favorites..liked the concept...and wish i was a neanderthal...ha
i wish i could get my blood sugar to settle down..it is still all over the place..damn..was 102 after lunch and then 180 after dinner..had stew and 2 cookies..ha..i actually have more books to give her too...nothing earth shattering or i would have kept them..
jblue: when i was wild and wolly, i used to not wear underwear when i wore my blue jeans..had what i called my period panties that i wore for a week during that time of the month...but now..i wear them all the time...like covering my privates..and the ole general too..
jblue: yeah, jenny is really funny...
nancy: ooooooohhhhhh....kay...
josh:..it's plenty cold enough for me here..icecicles every where..nearly fell on my ass this am...electric when out but only for about an hour...glad..as it is all electric..and was getting a little nippy..
jan: i don't know what the deal is with the anony's..going to use the varifacation thing for a week or so and get rid of them...nutso's..