I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, April 16, 2007

TYPICAL DAY IN THE LIFE OF JACKIESUE



7:30am...wake up to the sound of Annie trying to rip the blinds off the window..throw house slipper at her...she doesn't even move as she knows at this time of morning I have trouble hitting my large ass with both hands so I'm sure to miss her with a slipper.grab my book and glasses, find one slipper, can't find the one I tossed at Annie..ah, there it is..behind dresser.Go to bathroom, pee, brush teeth, look at myself in the mirror and say'beat death again didn't ya jac?'giggle and go to kitchen...put kettle on for tea, water in a pan, pour orange juice. Add oatmeal to water, get out peanut butter, jelly...make tea, add pb and sugarless jelly to cooked oatmeal...feed Annie..go get paper..let Annie out, feed birds...come back to kitchen take tea, juice oatmeal to chair..turn on tv ..check blood,take meds and vitamins, eat breakfast..read paper, do cross word puzzles..(3 of them)..scream at tv about Bush's latest fuckup's...secretly laughing cause it just goes to show ya...I was fucking right..all along...nana nana boo boo..I love being right...even if it means we are fucked..
take dishes to kitchen..think about washing them..say fuckit...go turn on computer...read emails, answer emails..see what babs is up too..make fun of her eye...arrrr...yell at tv because Rachel Ray's voice makes me cringe..read some blogs..comment..change channel so I can scream at the bitches and ho's on the views(hey..I don't have a job that they can fire me from...so stick that in your ass you politically correct assholes)...'one at a time you bitches..and elizabeth..just shut the fuck up..you ignorant dipshit...judas priest..does she drink from the 'stupid fountain?'...go pee..start reading my book on King Arthur,and get ready for my soaps...ahh, the Young and the Restless...scream at tv...'Victor you pig, let Nicky run for senator..so what she was a stripper and has no experience...since when did that matter...?'...giggle and laugh when Victoria and Sharon fall off the cliff during a photo shoot...throw converse at tv when Sharon is rescued..oh well, at least that screaching bitch Victoria is gone...fix something bland, boring but good for me for lunch...go to bedroom and get dressed for my walk...Turn on Days of Our Lives, which takes 5 minutes or better as my anteanna doesn't pick up NBC very well...wander around living room with antenna in my hands, trying to find the right spot ..skoot the footstool over and put the antenna down..it looses the pictures..scream at tv...antenna and Annie just for general principles..Margaret is at the door looking at me like I am possessed..
giggle...turn to Annie..wanna go for a walk..? Annie runs out on porch and Margaret and I follow to do our daily (except for Sunday for me) walk...Annie running behind us meowing like a maniac...I do 3 laps(leg cramps so bad, I had to cut back, but going to work back up to 6 one lap at a time), Annie does 2..Margaret does 6..Margaret sniggers at me when I peel off..wrinkled up ole rasin..Annie and I walk back to the apt..where I try again to get antenna to work..say fuckit and go back to the computer and do a post..save and go google for pictures..Turn tv on One Life to Live..scream at tv because everyone on that show screams at the top of their lungs..have to scream for them to hear me...they are all stupid on that show..Ah, now the good stuff..General Hospital and Guiding Light..I switch back and forth as I can't figure out how to get my vcr to record..Scream at Carly because she refuses to go back to Sonny, and wish some one would slip and tell either Sam or Lucky that Elizabeth's baby is Jason's..switch to Guiding Light and scream at Josh for not having any sense..'you know you love Reva and her sister Cassie is not right for you...jackass, going to prison to save a woman ..what a dipshit.'...go pee...make snack.
3pm..either I get my ass up and go to town and to the library or I watch Ellen and then Oprah..only watch so I will have something to scream at...'what do you mean ' the secret?'...that's the dumbest thing I ever heard of...good thoughts going out brings you money in?..what are you people stupid..Go to Community Grocery and get something bland and boring to cook...go to library where I make Henrietta's eye twich and her chin jerk when I tell her how stupid I think GWB is...make a couple of comments about my gay friends, and praying to the Goddess, just for good measure..go home..
watch news...scream at tv...make dinner...take meds...feed Annie...watch tv and read, make a snack around 7pm..10pm news..scream at Rusty the weatherman who hasn't got a prediction right since madra's shirts were in style..watch Letterman...laugh laugh laugh...11:35..turn off tv...grab book/glasses, turn out light..tell Annie, 'it's time to go to bed.'...she follows me to bathroom where I pee again, brush my teeth and go to bed..I get my bed all ready, turn on radio to oldies and goodies, Annie stakes her place out and I pet and rub her for 5 minutes or so...read for about 5 minutes, turn off radio, light...go to sleep....

sooo you all had enough...??Remember this fucking boring peice of shit post the next time that you complain that I don't post every day...Babs said I should just change the date on this and post it once or twice a week when I don't have a thought or subject to post about..
Gotta go...Margaret is here for our walk, and I still don't have my shoes on and need to pee..

28 comments:

Nit Wit said...

Them soaps will rot your brain, not to mention the girley daytime talk shows. Letterman is OK though I don't get to watch him often. I hate Leno.
Did you check on folic acid? It got rid of my leg cramps right away.
I need to retire so I can have a boring day to post about.
Never have recycled old posts, maybe I should dig up some of my good ones from the shitty blog place. Have to find my old password. and username

texlahoma said...

Ok, I guess we had it comming.

Anonymous said...

Oatmeal, pb, and jelly? Mmmmmm. I love those Little Debbie Oatmeal PB & J Pies.

Josh is nuts. EVERYBODY knows he belongs with Reva! Dumbass.

yellowdoggranny said...

nitwit: I have been watching most of the soaps I want for well over 30 years..so I guess that is what is wrong with my brain..I take potassium for leg cramps and between it and all the other vitamins I take ..don't think I can handle another one..but if they don't quit..will try the folic acid...I love letterman..and cant' stand leno either..he makes my ass hurt...I was looking at some of my old posts today and thought about recycling one or two..but think I am going to do a post on Imus..I watched oprah today and she had all these black women on, al sharpton, russell simmons, etc on and by the time it was over with I was hoarse from screaming at them..dumb shits..
tex:sorry tex..but I couldn't help myself...
mimi:I'm telling you it makes that oatmeal go down a lot better..take a heaping tablespoon of peanut butter, tad of margarine, and a heaping tablespoon of sugarless jelly and mix it all up...really is good..plus it keeps me regular..ha..
yup...reva belongs with josh and vice versa..stupid soaps..

the rube said...

i hope you have enough time left over to watch rasslin.

Josh said...

Yes, I have to agree... Josh & Reva are one of those classic soap romances... I remember that one from when I was a child, since the guy had my name...

I think "The Secret" to making millions is to invest in good marketing to make some pie-in-the-sky hogwash seem like confidential or privileged information. I've not seen the video but have heard that it features a clip that basically implies that a gay man brings a beating upon himself by having negative thoughts. That was enough to piss me off and turn me off from that "positive thinking" crap. I don't play the "blame the victims" game.

Tina said...

haha I luv it - quite unique and I love hearing about what others do in their daily grind :) I can't believe some of those soaps are still running! I watched the ABC ones when I was a teen - and Sonny is still on GH? wow haha so addictive they are

now i want some PB & J...

apositivepessimist said...

I would have thought you may have pee'd more...dunno why I thought that.

yellowdoggranny said...

rube: i only get the tv channels abc, cbs, nbc, fox,and 2 pbs stations,none of which have rasslin'.....plus no georgous george or one like him..damn..I miss ole Georgous George ...
Josh: it probably is my favorite soap along with General Hospital..
I hate that they are on at the same time..GH and Gl have the best writers on day time tv...Young and Restless, drags on so slow I can miss 2 weeks worth of shows and not miss a beat..Days of our lives is the worse soap on tv..worse writers, worse actors, worse story lines..just rehash rehash rehash...sigh*..I need to get a life...but then..who would live mine???
tina:yup..sonny's still on GH...he is really a good actor and would like to see him do something else..he played ricky arnez in the desi and lucy story..and he was excellent..I have nit wit to thank for the idea of peanut butter in my oatmeal..and then think we both came up with adding jelly to it...really is good...
apos;oh I pee a lot more than that..plus get up at least 2times at night to pee...it's my new hobby..

Cassandra said...

Brilliant! You should post every day!

Nit Wit said...

I quit drinking once and soon found myself addicted to General Hospital as I worked nights. Luke and Laura took over my life.
I finally went back to drinking to break the bad habit.
10 years later I looked in on it again and didn't have any trouble figuring out what was going on so I went back to the bars.
Gee, first try the letters had p,b, and j.

mckait said...

hey jac! thats a pic of you? nice to meetcha :) now I will know who is cracking me up!

I have gotten so out of my blogging routine. its been a busy few weeks.. my neice's wedding coming up.

I enjoy Rachel Ray.. but she is loud I am not a fan of loud.. whats the point?
It took me two months to stop jumping out of my skin when the teacher in my room speaks.. she is LOUD!
The events of yesterday, on top of the tragedy that is Iraq, was hard .. very hard.
How ugly mankind is becoming

take care

Rainwolf said...

Just found you by way of Big Pissy. Excellent post. I will be catching up on the rest.

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Rachel Ray's too-cute look makes me cringe. Resurrect Julia Child!

yellowdoggranny said...

Babs:bitch..this goofy post was your idea..hahah..
Nitwit:luke is married to tracy quartermane, laura is in a nut house, scotty is still causing trouble..sonny and jason are still 'hoods'...luke's son lucky is a cop married to elizabeth who is pregnant with jason's kid, lulu, luke's daughter is 'just like her daddy'...nothing changes..
it's your fault that i eat peanut butter and jelly with my oatmeal every morning..so every morning I think of you....
kath:yup, that is me..from last summer before I started losing weight..damn, my friend david is right...my face does look like it's going to explode..ha..I have lost 34 lbs since then..
there is just something about those newyork shrill voices that make my poor little texas ears want to bleed..joy on the view is another one that gets to my ears..
rainwolf:howdy...welcome aboard..tell big pissy I said howdy..
cheesemeister:oh I don't mind her 'cuteness'..it's that skreetchy fucking voice that unnerves me....and if she says great gravy one more time..I may be forced to make a ny trip to bip her...

Pixie said...

The only way I can eat PB is on toast, the very thought of it with jam makes me feel queesy...

I sometimes put brown sugar and (fake) maple syrup in my oatmeal. YUM

Susan Demeter said...

I finally got my lazy butt a Google account so I can post comments again... :) Yayyy!!!

Ol' Lady said...

sounds like a fun filled day to me

Big Pissy said...

What?

You don't watch 'All My Children'?

It's worth it just to see 'Zarf'..the pre-op transexual rockstar who is having an affair with Erica's lesbian daughter, Bianca.

Zarf is absofuckinglutely hilarious!

and he's so serious about it! *LOL*

Bob Harrison said...

The Goddess told me that James Joyce doesn't have a thing on you!!!

Sling said...

I wanna throw slippers at elizabeth AND rachel!..I think I'll go scream at my cat now.

Mouthy Girl said...

You eat bland, boring shit more than once a day? Sacrilege!

Give Annie a good scratchy fo me. I love a cat who can destroy blinds!

yellowdoggranny said...

Pixie:ohh, peanut butter(crunchy) and blueberry sugar free jelly?..the best...and then dump it in the oatmeal...even better..huh nitwit?
sue:cool, I missed ya...
ol lady: don't know if it was fun filled..but it works for me..
big pissy:you know what? I may just start watching it as days of our lives is becoming the most boring tv show on ...it bites..and I watched enough of All My Children that I know all the players, although I'm still pissed they killed Dixie off...
bob:why thank ya...the Goddess knows her stuff..
sling:it's those skreetch voices and they're aren't I cute cause I'm so dumb routine that chaps my ass...

Allan said...

wheee...what a life. You find some great pics too..

Nancy said...

Your assorted day and the assorted things you do...I was amused and assorted is the word for today for me, I picked it up at Apospest's place. :)

yellowdoggranny said...

allan:sometimes I have more fun finding the pictures then I do writing the post..
wicked storm:where the hell you been lakota princess?...glad you are amused...

:P fuzzbox said...

It's nice to know that I am not the only one that cringes at the voice of Rachel Ray. Damn she has an irratating voice.

Jan said...

I thought I was reading "Lifestyles of the rich and famous."