.......A LIST OF FIRSTS.......

I stole this.not the answers..but the questions.

I stole it from Sebastien..and if you don't know who Sebastien is..you must go visit his blog..Babs told me about him..and she's right..I did like him..and you will too..go visit him..he's weird..funny and very talented...here's what I stole...this is a list of 10 firsts...your first what ever..this is the list..and these are my answers...

1.FIRST MEMORY:My first memory is being on a porch, in my night gown and sticking my tongue out to catch the wind on my tongue..I also have a picture of me on this porch with my tongue out catching the wind on my tongue..now you're thinking ...you think you remember it because you have seen the picture..nah..I remember..

because I remember my mother asking me what I was doing..and I told her..she said:"So....what

do you think?"...and I said:"I think I have to pee."...(I was about 2 years old.

2.FIRST INJURY: I was about 3-4 years old and lived with my Aunt(pistol packing) Leola and my Uncle Terrell in Houston, Texas..they had a log cabin...really...it was super..the upstairs was a living room with 2 bedrooms and a bath..the downstairs(had to go outside to go to the kitchen)was a kitchen attached to a huge garage..My aunt Leola was churning butter in a butter churn..she left it to go down to the kitchen and for some reason...I was a butter feind...I crawled up on the butter churt to dip in and get me some of that sweet butter and me and the butter churn went rolling down the stairs...butter going every where..I landed on the bottom, out of breath, banged and bruised and covered with butter...My Aunt Leola said she ran over and grabbed me up to see if I was ok, and was cut in a few places but I was so busy licking the butter off me...I never noticed..I still have the tiny scar on my forehead from that little buttery fall..

3.FIRST LIE:While staying with my Aunt Leola and Uncle Terrel I would on occasion wet the bed..and I would blame in on my cousin Terry every time..who was a baby that slept in his own crib...I still blamed it on him..

4.FIRST PERSON YOU ADMIRED:That's easy....My Daddy....and that never changed..

5.FIRST TIME DRUNK:Oh, man...Do I remember that..My Daddy's Daddy was a bootlegger when I was really little, and he and my Grandmother(Big Mama) lived out in the middle of nowhere..they had a huge house,with a gas station/country store.Daddy Red would sit in his green leather chair at his desk, looking out the window waiting for customer..He would always have a water glass(remember those big ole heavy bottomed glasses?)...full of whiskey and a small bottle of coke..he would take a big slug, chase it with the coke and rub his tummy and go'ahhh'.

So Diane and I crawled up in his chair one day and we were drinking out of his glass, rubbing our tummy and saying:"ahhhhhh."...and then spin his chair..They all thought, isn't that cute..their drinking coke and pretending it's whiskey and acting just like Daddy Red..Well, when we started throwing up and couldn't get off the floor where we had fallen, they realized ..it WAS Daddy Red's whiskey...and we were drunker than skunks..I was about 3..Diane was about 2...They had to take us to the hospital as we had alcohol poison..Damn near died..I was in my 40's before I drank whiskey again..and to this day if I smell Old Crow I will gag...ughghghgh!

6.FIRST FAILURE:I would say my first marriage, but can't take all the blame for that one..or 2 and 3..so my first and greatest failure is being a mother...I really suck at being a mother..

7.FIRST SUCCESS:I'm still working on that one..

8.FIRST TRIP ABROAD:When I was 7 years old my mother and I joined Daddy in Hawaii..came back to the states when I was 10 years old..

9.FIRST CONCERT:In 1968 I went to Bull Frog Park In Oregon and saw Jefferson Airplane..There were other groups there, but I don't remember who..I was flying on acid and barely remember them..I think I had a great time..

10.FIRST THING I DO WHEN I GET UP IN THE MORNING:

I pee..