I'm a liberal pagan living in West, Texas. Yes. That West, Texas.

Monday, December 23, 2013

I WILL NEVER SAY I'M GOING TO STOP BLOGGING..

I have never been so miserable..I'm back, the computer is fixed..cost $81 for screen and shipping..then $45 to have it put on..Every one thank Vicki Waters..she's the one that sent me $100 to get the screen..Goddess bless her sweet southern heart..but to show that the Goddess does have a sense of humor I get the laptop fixed and the internet goes out in the apts..been out over a week..and me like a dufus came up here to get on the computer and finally one of my friends  said Jackie(in a boy are you stupid so I'll talk real slow to you voice) you can take your laptop up there..they have wireless..fuckme..
So I"m on my lap top at the library...and oh my ..so many things have happened..but I'll get to the  best..I got tons of money from you all, people from 3 different country's and at least 12 different states..I did over 100 gift bags..you all fecking rock..I even got to wear a Santa outfit and I'd given any amount of money if you all could have been there..I have pictures, will see if I can get them on here. The costume was a really good one..but as I'm putting it on I'm thinking how embarrassing would it be if it's too small.snort** the sleeves on the top came down past my fingers by 4 inches..the hat kept falling over my eyes..they keep nursing homes at 114 degrees and it was twice that in the suit..I'm thinking I'm going to pass out on my red velvet ass and freak everyone out. My glasses were fogged up and it was just hysterical..so I'm goofing off in my Santa outfit and asking all the men to sit on my lap and I'd give them a Christmas gift they wouldn't forget..just being a horses ass..and I look up and I realize there are kids there visiting nanny and popo.I freaked..I whispered to the nurse, they think I'm Santa Claus..she said ..Jackie..you ARE Santa Claus..holyfuckme..So as I'm walking toward them (standing there with their eyes as big as saucers and mouths hanging open) I'm thinking don't screw this up..don't screw this up. Don't want to traumatize those kids and have them running screaming out of stores from Santa if I mess up. I didn't want to be the Santa in the Christmas story...well I did good..and the feeling I got playing Santa was absolutely the best ever..I could do that every day for the rest of my life.
After I handed out the gifts people were wanting to know who to thank...I said everyone..from 3 different countries and over 12 states and they wanted the residents from West Rest Haven to know that they may not live in West anymore..but they haven't been forgotten and each and everyone of the people that donated to this wanted you to know that and they wanted you all to have a very merry Christmas and you are remembered..sorta got sappy..but it was worth it..but I sure blew the hell out of my hardass reputation.So I have a lot of great moments, but there is one I have to share..I was delivering to the nursing home that Bonnie is in..and we had talked and she loved her RCMP Tshirt and wanted to know why her boyfriends don't come see her.. Her Alzheimer's is starting to get worse..she knew me but couldn't remember my name..but she's happy...one of the residents Lisa Middlebrook passed away..she was a paraplegic  and got a blood infection..she was mid 40's.very sad..She never missed  a Jackie's Kitchen..
annnyhow..the great story is ..I'm taking the gift bags to the resident and there is one guy who was asleep so I was going to leave it and go..well he woke up and I'm not sure if he talks or  understands as I had no info on him..So I tell him I'm delivering a gift bag from Santa Claus and he wanted him to have a very merry Christmas..I asked him if he wanted me to show him what he got..he nodded yes..so I'm taking each item out and telling a story about it..socks..who gives socks for Christmas, someone who doesn't know a thing about gifts..look  the lords prayer to put on the wall..bet your excited about that..oh wow, more socks..and he's grinning and smiling and heard a chuckle every now and then..all the time I'm telling him it's from Santa and and Santa wants him to have a very merry Christmas..I'm done..I'm out of patter and socks..he sort of raises his head off the bed and I moved in closer to hear him..and he looks me right in the eye and says:'you know he's not real don't you.'..I burst out laughing and he plopped his head  back down and was laughing too..it was just the best.
So all the gift bags are delivered, I know I didn't get them all, but some were just to far out..The stuff that is left over I'll take to senior center tomorrow..
I've finished most of my baking..need to bake for the 2 grocery stores and Family Dollar..then baking 3 pecan pies for the Claritey's Christmas..and then bake for the two family Christmas's of my own..feck..
Inky is smoking pork ? or beef? can't remember..tenderloins at Wolf's tonight and I'm going..and as you probably heard by now(yes that was me screaming ) the Cowboys with out anesthesia pulled that game right  out of their ass. Now we play for the marbles against Eagles next week..the hated Eagles..them bastids..we squeaked it out by one point and Eagles scored 50 some odd points..arghghg..
Ok..gotta jet..This Christmas thing isn't over yet..I'll try to post some pictures ...love to all of you and missed you all sooo much.Merry fecking Christmas and have a cool yule.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Damn it is great to have you back!!! I went from laughter to tears in 1.5.

Shiny Rod said...

You reminded me I need to get on the ball and get back to blogging myself. You had me rolling through each paragraph. You are truly a blessing to many as well as me... Love you Jackiesue..

bpadgett said...

Yay!! Yellowdog Granny is back!! Or should that be "Yellowdog Santa"? You're the best, Jackiesue, I truly mean that.

Rainwolf said...

Welcome back :)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

What a great Xmas present this is -- you're back on the internet! Thanks, Vicki! And I enjoyed your Santa stories so much! I'm glad the West Rest Haven folks got their gift bags and best wishes.

Intense Guy said...

All I want for Christmas is for the Cowboys to blow away the Eagles 100 to nuttin'.

My name WAS Female, I shit you not! said...

Merry Christmas Jackie.
A job well done. ISYN!
(((hugs)))Pat

Jerri said...

Welcome back,Jackie! You were missed! Glad you missed us too ; -> Playing Santa HAS to be one of the most fun and satisfying things to do...sounds like you made a good one...must be your jovial nature ;-)
Merry Christmas and may 2014 (2014...2014!!! How can it be 2014?!?!?) be filled with lots of GOOD surprises ! .....and a great Super Bowl!